Sex & Gender Why do women have rape fantasies?

My understanding was and is the article was about a woman being raped by a man. So I don't believe I changed any of the characters, simply said, that the fantasy was the man's about what women wanted. I personally believe that men do think a woman wants to be raped, but if a woman says that I don't believe that a woman would have that desire if she also believed that she was in a life and death situation and that she was going to die. The response was based on my personal experience. I am not accusing all men of being rapists. I certainly hope that I taught my sons to be respectful.
I believe the hypotheses of the testing was erroneous and an insult to women as much as if it was a study saying that Men or Children fantasized about being raped.
My apologies to the group for causing an uproar.
 
@Firetown,
Nowhere did I say that all men fantasize about raping women. Read carefully.
 
Some people only fantasize about some things. They wanna do roleplay :). Woman who have rape fantasies probably wanna play "victim" as a safe role, with somebody who dosen't push limits or don't hurt them. 90% of them don't really wanna be raped.
 
One possible explanation: It's the same reason some people love horror movies - it's thrilling to play with heightened emotions and to get an adrenaline rush, but in a safe setting where you know you won't actually be hurt.


Another: In a society that doesn't allow women to fully express their sexual desires, it can be appealing to construct a fantasy where you get the kind of sex you want, but you were "forced" into it so you don't have to bear the social cost/personal embarrassment of actually admitting that you like it. But again, in a safe context where you won't actually be hurt because it's a fantasy (either in your head or in a consensual-nonconsent situation where all parties are on the same page about boundaries).
 
The key word in this is "fantasy." These women don't actually want to be raped, they want to role play a dangerous situation. It's the same reason people enjoy horror movies or roller coasters- simulated danger for the sake of an adrenalin rush.
 
Women love these 50 Shades of Gray stories. Therefore, the desire to be desired and sexually attractive is replaced in your subconscious mind by the desire to be raped. "I'm very hot. I drive men crazy ”- something like this sounds in their subconscious.
 
I don't understand why so much surprise is being expressed. A very large percentage of people have been sexually molested at least once in their lives, if not raped. Children get raped by their brothers, uncles, fathers and stepfathers, grandfathers, priests, rabbis, teachers, coaches, you name it. The number of actual occurrences are much higher than the number of prosecutions. Girls and women get raped by their friends, by their husbands, on occasion, at university when they're drunk, by strangers in dark alleys. Boys get raped or abused too, and men in prison.

Some of you sound as if acknowledging it is tantamount to approving of it. It isn't. There was absolutely nothing wrong with Wheal's comment. Some men do fantasize about it, and some women fantasize about being "forced" or "overpowered", which is somewhat different.

As for it being a problem with one gender, that's obvious. Even if you believe that a woman can "rape" a man, rather than sexually assault or molest him, the percentage of women who commit such acts no matter how defined is infinitesimal compared to the percentage of men. That's just reality, whether men like to acknowledge it or not. Why do you think there are sexual abuse units in every police jurisdiction, and why do you think the vast percentage of defendants are men? We don't do it because we have an agenda against men.

Have you ever heard of women using rape as a weapon of war as in "The Rape of Nanking" or in the Bosnian conflict barely thirty years ago? How do you explain what happens with every mass migration where suddenly the percentage of the "native" y lines significantly decreases but the mtDna lines remain? Do you think the native males voluntarily neutered themselves, and the women were all courted with roses and poems? What do you think has happened throughout history when a besieged city falls? What do you think the Russians did to the women of Berlin, little girls and grandmothers some of them, during World War II?

I think it's time for a reality check.

Rape of Nanking:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nanking_Massacre#Rape

Rape as a Weapon of War in the Balkans:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_during_the_Bosnian_War

Russian atrocities against German women in Berlin in WWII:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_during_the_occupation_of_Germany#Soviet_troops

Percentage of people who have been sexually abused in some way:
The numbers are pretty staggering: one out of six women have either been raped, or there's been an attempted rape.
https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
https://www.nsopw.gov/en-US/Education/FactsStatistics?AspxAutoDetectCookieSupport=1

Percentage of sexual abusers who are male vs. female: The commonly reported statistic is that 96% of the perpetrators of sexual assaults overall are male.
http://victimsofcrime.org/media/reporting-on-child-sexual-abuse/statistics-on-perpetrators-of-csa

More specifically as to "female rape fantasies", only a very sick woman would fantasize about being violently raped, or raped while unconscious, or even subjected to extreme pressure that she might lose her job.

What a lot of people don't seem to understand is that sexual abuse victims can suffer from quite severe PTSD, and if they're not very resilient and emotionally strong, it can affect them their whole lives. Young girls who are abused use drugs and alcohol more, do worse in school, can become anorexic, or promiscuous, run away, and on and on. It is no joke.

I think that women who say that they fantasize about rape mean something quite different than what gets reported. It's probably because for some women there's still some stigma in their own minds about being too eager for sex, and so being swept upstairs a la Rhett Butler takes all blame from them and frees them from their inhibitions. I doubt they envision some brutal, violent, actual rape. That doesn't seem at all mentally healthy to me. I think that must be what's going on with that book and movie which was all over, and whose name escapes me. I didn't see it and have no interest in seeing it, so this is just conjecture. My gut reaction is that people who get off on that kind of stuff just aren't very highly sexed and so it takes more extreme stimulation than for other people, or again, it's because they're actually very inhibited rather than the opposite.

Of course, this latter is all amateur, armchair psychology. :) Still, I doubt the psychologists understand it all that well either.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_36zsAP-Wh0

Great movie which I've seen many times, but each time I'm irritated throughout the whole thing. What a consummate fool she was to think herself in love with that twit Ashley Wilkes when she had Rhett Butler/Clark Gable.

The biggest problem is that the same sex parent remains role model. That means that boys imitate the bad behavior of the dad and girls accept the unacceptable if the mother's actions make it appear acceptable to them via their actions or non-actions.
 
That may be true in many cases, but I doubt it's true in all cases.

The roll of the genetic dice plays a role. All my life, from the time I was a little girl, I was told that I was like my paternal aunts: smart, capable, but also willful, hot-tempered, with, as my father put it, a viper's tongue when attacked or when I saw an injustice.

My father never laid a finger on my mother in anger; he adored the ground she walked on. She was by nature, however, very gentle, very accepting, very traditional in a mid-twentieth century Italian way. I never remember her really arguing with my father or refusing to go along with his decisions. I don't know how she would have behaved were he a brutal man, but I can't imagine her fighting back; fleeing, maybe, but fighting back? I don't honestly know.

While I've always been more traditional than most American women of my generation, there's a lot of my father, and my father's sisters in me, who as young women showed their mettle time and time again. The aunt to whom I was closest went alone, as a 13 year old girl, to a partisan camp in the mountains to retrieve her 11 year old brother, giving all those men a tongue lashing for including a child in their doings. When the distant cousin on whose farm she was sheltering during the war got drunk and started beating his wife because he thought she had been looking at another man she took a pitchfork to him and warned him that if he ever did it again she'd fill him full of holes with it. He never did do it again, and in fact respected her for it.

No man, no matter how domineering, and I married an exceptionally stubborn and domineering man, would ever be able to control me, much less physically abuse me, without consequences.

I've never been intimidated by men, whether it was in the classroom, the courtroom, or in a dating situation. A man might be able to physically overpower me, but I wouldn't rest until I made him pay.

There are some things that are just ingrained in your personality.
 
If anything, the fact that a woman, or a man for that matter, has a physical response to the rape may indeed make the whole event more humiliating and difficult to process.

I think people have to stop thinking of it as primarily an act of sex. Like the kind of sexual assaults and various indignities revealed in the scandalous news from Hollywood, it's about power, about someone taking pleasure in exerting it over others, and the more degrading and humiliating it is for the victim, the more some of them seem to enjoy it.

That said, this doesn't by any means occur in every or even most cases. Women who have been raped at knife or gun point, with objects or in other violent and humiliating ways have never, in my experience, reported that they had a pleasurable body response.

Exactly, it has more to do with power,domination,subjugation,violence and sadism than
with sex.
 

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